[Dorian understands that. Dorian needs that. He can't lie with his words, but at least he can do this. He can tell the lie of their kisses, the reassurances that this won't go away.
[ It's everything and not enough all at once. Hermione doesn't know what she needs, really, only that she needs to know Dorian is safe, needs to know she's safe, that they're together and alive even though she's seen the life ripped from him twice now. She grips at him, leaning into the kiss as he does, offering herself to him and trying not to let her emotions betray her as surely as she knows they are.
Gentle hands shift to cup his cheeks and Hermione fights her tears, giving in to her needs for the first time in a long time. Is she using him? No, he needs this too, she thinks, a reassurance, the knowledge that they're in this together. ]
[When he draws back, he doesn't let go. His brows furrow over eyes that turn from her, set down, and his mouth curves.]
It's the best thing I can do. What I did on the battlefield, what I—I'm damned, Hermione. I am unsaveable. [A little laugh, and he tips his head forward, gives a fleeting press of the lips.] But I can die, at the cost of a little pain, and I can save someone else that way.
[When he finally looks at her, he is desperate and hopeful, despairing and vulnerable. He reaches for her face.]
It's good, isn't it? I didn't want to hurt you, but this way—I won't leave, not even when I die, and it's a good thing. To protect other people. To make a sacrifice that would be so much greater from someone else. Isn't that good?
[ She knows that if she argues that he isn't damned he'll fight back and argue against her, maybe even laugh, so she bites her tongue on that point - but her hands lift, stroking over his cheeks, holding him close, and she closes her eyes all the tighter. ]
It's not just a little pain, though, is it? It must hurt, horribly, every single time. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It hurts here.
[ She puts a hand over her heart, letting his hands touch her face, leaning in to him, gazing at him, this man who is her best friend. ]
I'm glad you want to protect people, Dorian, I'm glad that you're doing something good. But it isn't a little pain and I'm never going to be used to it, to seeing you die. I don't think I'll ever be okay with it.
[He smiles a little, and it is such a fragile expression, such a delicate lifting of his lips, like he's scared that it won't go away. It is something good. Hermione says it is good. So, there's a little good left in him, right?]
[ Hermione closes her eyes and leans close, pressing her lips against his forehead, against his nose and his cheek and then finally his lips, slow things, before she nods. ]
[ She shakes her head, fond, before she goes to her bag and pulls out two chains, connected to each other, before she splits them. ]
I used a little bit of runic magic and some of my own to adjust a spell from my world. This should act as a sort of compass for us, just each other, so if we're in trouble we can find each other.
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He needs it as much as she does right now.]
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Gentle hands shift to cup his cheeks and Hermione fights her tears, giving in to her needs for the first time in a long time. Is she using him? No, he needs this too, she thinks, a reassurance, the knowledge that they're in this together. ]
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It's the best thing I can do. What I did on the battlefield, what I—I'm damned, Hermione. I am unsaveable. [A little laugh, and he tips his head forward, gives a fleeting press of the lips.] But I can die, at the cost of a little pain, and I can save someone else that way.
[When he finally looks at her, he is desperate and hopeful, despairing and vulnerable. He reaches for her face.]
It's good, isn't it? I didn't want to hurt you, but this way—I won't leave, not even when I die, and it's a good thing. To protect other people. To make a sacrifice that would be so much greater from someone else. Isn't that good?
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It's not just a little pain, though, is it? It must hurt, horribly, every single time. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It hurts here.
[ She puts a hand over her heart, letting his hands touch her face, leaning in to him, gazing at him, this man who is her best friend. ]
I'm glad you want to protect people, Dorian, I'm glad that you're doing something good. But it isn't a little pain and I'm never going to be used to it, to seeing you die. I don't think I'll ever be okay with it.
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But if it is me or you . . . There is no choice.
You have to live.
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I know. But...
[ That shouldn't mean you have to die. ]
Can I give you something?
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Of course.
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[ She shakes her head, fond, before she goes to her bag and pulls out two chains, connected to each other, before she splits them. ]
I used a little bit of runic magic and some of my own to adjust a spell from my world. This should act as a sort of compass for us, just each other, so if we're in trouble we can find each other.
[ She glances up, almost shy. ]
So if there's another battle and you need me...
my inbox thought this was spam
Yes. And you'll come find me, if you're the one in need?
i'm personally offended
Of course. If I need you I'll come.