[ To see you. But it would be so cruel to say, to let Hermione think that even a part of this was tied to her. She has enough on her shoulders and what Katsa did was of her own volition. She knew the consequences.
Lavellan echoes Hermione's sigh. ]
Anything you can find that will help will be greatly appreciated. But please, don't put yourself in more danger. Your life isn't worth a few answers.
[ No more friends can die. No more can hurt. Not now. ]
And if there's anything I can do over here, please let me know.
I promise I'll do my best. Lancelot would understand, Nasrin. He would.
[ Lancelot's best friend was Unseelie once, after all. Besides, the monarchs already know how dangerous Hermione might be. She swore to choose Harry over them any day of the week, to their faces, as fierce and determined as ever. ]
[ He had seemed kind at Samhain. It must be an awful burden on his shoulders to do what he must. It's small wonder that both Hermione and Cullen speak so highly of him. If she could express her gratitude, she would, but the less people she must endanger, the better. ]
Hermione.
[ She reaches out towards the face in the fire, expression both fond and sad. Her and Cullen both, running against the odds and putting themselves in danger. What will she do without them? ]
We would be lost without you, lionheart. I'll look after her but you must look after yourself too. I won't let anything happen to her.
[ Hermione wishes that she could step through the fireplace and wrap her arms around her friend, to hold her and let it be close. It was possible, of course, since she had Floo Powder, but it wasn't safe, not right now. She could visit later, on a trip to Treun.
For now, she just breathes out. ]
I'll do my best. I've got a lot of people looking out for me. I'd hate to let them down.
[ And she means it. What would happen at the Citadel if she faded away? What would happen to Dorian if she, who was determined to let him see the good still in him, disappeared? What would happen to Katsa if the person defending her here on the Seelie side was gone? A thousand reasons that made her more determined to stay and fight.
The compliment isn't lost on her and sh breathes out. ]
I'll do my best. Can - Nasrin? What does that mean?
[ But it isn't about people looking out for her. It's that Hermione is important to every single of them. She deserves so much more than she has; she deserves to be happy and safe and alive. Instead, she is Marchioness, and trapped between propriety and duty, to others and to her court.
Lavellan doesn't envy her position.
She looks up, frowning briefly, uncertain if she's overstepped her bound... She wonders if her Keeper, if her clan, if even Solas would be disappointed that she using an elven word for a human. But now, she doesn't care. She might never see Thedas again. ]
It... It has a meaning not unlike 'clansmen'. Blood kin, family. It's a...familiar term of endearment.
[ It's not the easiest place to be, but would she give it up? No. She's determined to use her position to help and do some good and she is determined to be the one that fights, that keeps her head held high and resists the urge to force more war. There's so much blood on her hands already that it frightens her - she doesn't want there to be more. She isn't sure how she would handle it, how she would survive.
Hermione has to be strong so that everyone can lean on her.
Her expression, greet and mixed with embers in the flame, softens, and she smiles. ]
Am I allowed to call you it too, Nasrin? Lethall... An?
[ It's hard for her to say no to Hermione. And she doesn't want to. Hadn't she always advocated for humans and elves to have stronger connections, for the fighting and the feuding to be over so the Dalish can work on recovering themselves as a people and not just one clan at a time? To teach the language, to see how others - humans, dwarves, and Qunari - can help them uncover the past and work towards a brighter future...
And yet there is so much within her that tells her not to teach her these words, to keep her lore and culture to herself. But it's time to change that.
She is First to Clan Lavellan; she is Thedas' Keeper. She will bring about that change. Lavellan smiles, dips her head into a nod. ]
Lethallan, yes. And you may, if it pleases you. The Dalish do not teach our language to outsiders, especially not to humans. But you are-- You mean so much to me, Hermione. I want you to have this word and its meaning, because so few of you ever will.
[ It could be said that Hermione isn't entirely aware of what all of this means - because it's true. She doesn't know the importance of sharing the word, no more than what Nasrin has told her, and she has no idea what it means, in the other woman's heart, for it to be shared and so easily given away.
She hesitates, she pauses, before she can't hold back any more. She can't stay away when her heart is telling her to go and find and offer comfort, and she stumbles through the fireplace and almost falls into Nasrin, wrapping her arms around her friend and holding her close. ]
Then I'll be your lethallan and you can be mine. I'll do everything I can to honour this, I promise. I won't let you down, not ever.
[ And she means it, holding her friend all the tighter for her promises. ]
[ Lavellan starts in shock when Hermione comes through, opening her arms to catch her when Hermione sprouts from the fire, magic so profoundly beautiful that she's awestruck for a moment, her friend tumbling into her arms. Hermione holds her fiercely and she returns the gesture, face by her shoulder, and is surprised to feel heat behind her eyes and tears pooling there.
No. No, she can't cry here, not in front of her. Not in front of anyone. When did I become so weak? she wonders, when a year ago she was sentencing people for their crimes and wielding the weight of an entire organization in her hands. Now she is ready to empty her heart to a circle of friends she has only known for a year, who know her well enough to love her, because she is so lonely and she misses too many people... Only now does she begin to realize she might never go home.
Her heart is here with these people. And so long as it is, she will love them and she will protect them, and she will do anything she has to in order to ensure their safety and happiness.
Throat closing in on her briefly when Hermione calls her lethallan, she tugs her closer, holds her tighter, and laughs brokenly, her heart split in two. It is only now that the tears begin to fall. ]
Don't worry about letting me down. No matter what happens, Hermione-- You are so dear to me. I'll do anything to keep you safe.
[ And she will love her unconditionally, regardless of her station or her court. This is the least she can offer her. ]
[ For a long moment she doesn't know what to do; she holds on to Nasrin and squeezes her arms around her a little tighter, drawing her close and letting herself hold on to her and resist the urge to break out in a few tears of her own. Her hand lifts and rests on the back of her friend's head, letting her fingers stroke gently for a few moments before she forces herself to try to find the right words to speak. ]
I'll do anything to keep you safe, too, to - to protect you.
[ Her eyes close and she rests there for a moment before she leans back, her hands lifting to rest on her cheeks, to brush her thumbs over Lavellan's cheeks, her expression softening as she tries to wipe away her tears. ]
I can admit that I don't know how important being a lethallan is but I am going to live up to the word. I promise. I am going to do anything I can to protect you, to keep you safe, to - to make sure you're happy. That's what's most important.
[ And then, careful, influenced by a friendship that says that kisses are a sign of true joy and companionship, she leaves a kiss on Nasrin's forehead, reaching to hold on to her again. ]
[ Lavellan ducks her head briefly, ashamed and embarrassed, and reaches up with her hands to wipe away her tears. This is so unbecoming of her, to weep in front of anyone, to show such weakness. I must be strong for every man and woman beneath the banner of the Inquisition. I can be nothing less than my best. And here is Hermione, whom she had been hoping to encourage and to show strength for, wiping her tears for her.
She laughs. It hurts too much. ]
Lethallan is... The Dalish do not share their culture. They do not like humans. Too much has been taken from us. We would never share our words with others, not like you, not like anyone else.
[ I am a traitor to them and every single one of my kind. But she is so tired of lies. She wants to love. She wants to give all she can of herself in defense of her world and all of the others. Why can't she be expected to look after everyone, no matter her race, and include them in words that are as important to her as the hearts of her comrades and friends?
She reaches up, tucks some of Hermione's hair behind her ear. Lavellan smiles, pressing the last of her own tears away. ]
But you are my kin and my blood and there is nothing I would not do to see you safe. To see Katsa and Cullen, Aveline and Porthos and Zuko and all of the others safe. [ Even those she does not know who are kin and beloved to Hermione and the others. ] I will do anything to see you all happy and safe.
[ And she brings Hermione close again, holds her, and kisses her hair. ]
[ Hermione is a little embarrassed herself; it's been a long time since she felt this kind of hopeful joy and companionship, especially with the turn that things had taken lately, and it shows on her face. She is overjoyed, bright and eager, pleased to have something special to share with a friend. ]
There aren't really words in my world that mean the same thing. We have magic but words for friendship, for something special... It's just our language, the same as anything we might have here, nothing separate. But I think that if we did have a word for it I'd be more than happy to call you it. Lethallan or sister, maybe. I think it would be nice to call you family, Nasrin.
[ Being here is a danger to her, she knows that. Coming and being around Unseelie, especially one that was on Tarz's list, was dangerous to her life and her position. She could risk it, though, because she cared about them, because she loved them, and the fondness settled in her heart easily enough.
Slowly, Hermione's hands drop to Nasrin's, holding her gently. ]
You're worth that to me. More than that. I want you to be safe and I want to help you in any way I possibly can as long as I have the chance to do it.
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Lavellan echoes Hermione's sigh. ]
Anything you can find that will help will be greatly appreciated. But please, don't put yourself in more danger. Your life isn't worth a few answers.
[ No more friends can die. No more can hurt. Not now. ]
And if there's anything I can do over here, please let me know.
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[ Lancelot's best friend was Unseelie once, after all. Besides, the monarchs already know how dangerous Hermione might be. She swore to choose Harry over them any day of the week, to their faces, as fierce and determined as ever. ]
Just... Keep her safe, please.
[ She pauses, her voice quiet and tired. ]
Please, Nasrin. I don't know what I'd do...
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[ He had seemed kind at Samhain. It must be an awful burden on his shoulders to do what he must. It's small wonder that both Hermione and Cullen speak so highly of him. If she could express her gratitude, she would, but the less people she must endanger, the better. ]
Hermione.
[ She reaches out towards the face in the fire, expression both fond and sad. Her and Cullen both, running against the odds and putting themselves in danger. What will she do without them? ]
We would be lost without you, lionheart. I'll look after her but you must look after yourself too. I won't let anything happen to her.
Be safe, lethallan. Please. For her.
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For now, she just breathes out. ]
I'll do my best. I've got a lot of people looking out for me. I'd hate to let them down.
[ And she means it. What would happen at the Citadel if she faded away? What would happen to Dorian if she, who was determined to let him see the good still in him, disappeared? What would happen to Katsa if the person defending her here on the Seelie side was gone? A thousand reasons that made her more determined to stay and fight.
The compliment isn't lost on her and sh breathes out. ]
I'll do my best. Can - Nasrin? What does that mean?
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Lavellan doesn't envy her position.
She looks up, frowning briefly, uncertain if she's overstepped her bound... She wonders if her Keeper, if her clan, if even Solas would be disappointed that she using an elven word for a human. But now, she doesn't care. She might never see Thedas again. ]
It... It has a meaning not unlike 'clansmen'. Blood kin, family. It's a...familiar term of endearment.
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Hermione has to be strong so that everyone can lean on her.
Her expression, greet and mixed with embers in the flame, softens, and she smiles. ]
Am I allowed to call you it too, Nasrin? Lethall... An?
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And yet there is so much within her that tells her not to teach her these words, to keep her lore and culture to herself. But it's time to change that.
She is First to Clan Lavellan; she is Thedas' Keeper. She will bring about that change. Lavellan smiles, dips her head into a nod. ]
Lethallan, yes. And you may, if it pleases you. The Dalish do not teach our language to outsiders, especially not to humans. But you are-- You mean so much to me, Hermione. I want you to have this word and its meaning, because so few of you ever will.
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She hesitates, she pauses, before she can't hold back any more. She can't stay away when her heart is telling her to go and find and offer comfort, and she stumbles through the fireplace and almost falls into Nasrin, wrapping her arms around her friend and holding her close. ]
Then I'll be your lethallan and you can be mine. I'll do everything I can to honour this, I promise. I won't let you down, not ever.
[ And she means it, holding her friend all the tighter for her promises. ]
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No. No, she can't cry here, not in front of her. Not in front of anyone. When did I become so weak? she wonders, when a year ago she was sentencing people for their crimes and wielding the weight of an entire organization in her hands. Now she is ready to empty her heart to a circle of friends she has only known for a year, who know her well enough to love her, because she is so lonely and she misses too many people... Only now does she begin to realize she might never go home.
Her heart is here with these people. And so long as it is, she will love them and she will protect them, and she will do anything she has to in order to ensure their safety and happiness.
Throat closing in on her briefly when Hermione calls her lethallan, she tugs her closer, holds her tighter, and laughs brokenly, her heart split in two. It is only now that the tears begin to fall. ]
Don't worry about letting me down. No matter what happens, Hermione-- You are so dear to me. I'll do anything to keep you safe.
[ And she will love her unconditionally, regardless of her station or her court. This is the least she can offer her. ]
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I'll do anything to keep you safe, too, to - to protect you.
[ Her eyes close and she rests there for a moment before she leans back, her hands lifting to rest on her cheeks, to brush her thumbs over Lavellan's cheeks, her expression softening as she tries to wipe away her tears. ]
I can admit that I don't know how important being a lethallan is but I am going to live up to the word. I promise. I am going to do anything I can to protect you, to keep you safe, to - to make sure you're happy. That's what's most important.
[ And then, careful, influenced by a friendship that says that kisses are a sign of true joy and companionship, she leaves a kiss on Nasrin's forehead, reaching to hold on to her again. ]
I'm here for you, for always.
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She laughs. It hurts too much. ]
Lethallan is... The Dalish do not share their culture. They do not like humans. Too much has been taken from us. We would never share our words with others, not like you, not like anyone else.
[ I am a traitor to them and every single one of my kind. But she is so tired of lies. She wants to love. She wants to give all she can of herself in defense of her world and all of the others. Why can't she be expected to look after everyone, no matter her race, and include them in words that are as important to her as the hearts of her comrades and friends?
She reaches up, tucks some of Hermione's hair behind her ear. Lavellan smiles, pressing the last of her own tears away. ]
But you are my kin and my blood and there is nothing I would not do to see you safe. To see Katsa and Cullen, Aveline and Porthos and Zuko and all of the others safe. [ Even those she does not know who are kin and beloved to Hermione and the others. ] I will do anything to see you all happy and safe.
[ And she brings Hermione close again, holds her, and kisses her hair. ]
You are worth anything I can give.
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There aren't really words in my world that mean the same thing. We have magic but words for friendship, for something special... It's just our language, the same as anything we might have here, nothing separate. But I think that if we did have a word for it I'd be more than happy to call you it. Lethallan or sister, maybe. I think it would be nice to call you family, Nasrin.
[ Being here is a danger to her, she knows that. Coming and being around Unseelie, especially one that was on Tarz's list, was dangerous to her life and her position. She could risk it, though, because she cared about them, because she loved them, and the fondness settled in her heart easily enough.
Slowly, Hermione's hands drop to Nasrin's, holding her gently. ]
You're worth that to me. More than that. I want you to be safe and I want to help you in any way I possibly can as long as I have the chance to do it.