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Except for that one point?

He didn't really seem to want anyone else, not to marry, but it would never have worked. I didn't love him like that, and even if I did... I... Well.

[ She huffs a little noise. ]

We wanted different things.

... I see.

[She actually does seem to calm back down, letting the mood settle to something a little more serious.]

It seems we both have great troubles with love, though perhaps in different directions...

Something like that.

[ Hermione shakes her head, lifting a shoulder absently. ]

It's fine. It's not really important to me.

[ Not anymore. ]

Ehhh?! Love isn't!?

[Even if her tail is still doing the sunlight glowing thing, it still manages to puff up in alarm.]

[ Hermione tries and fails to fight back her laugh, shaking her head. ]

It fell to the side, I think. Fighting two wars changes your priorities.

Nonsense, Master! Love is what makes fighting over a hundred Holy Grail Wars worthwhile in the end! Rather, it is because you fight so much that love should be important!

[She sounds very big and pompous, but there is a slight undertone to her voice- A very small, nearly unnoticeable weariness.]

Oh, love is important. I love lots of people, Tamamo, everyone I care about and all my friends - you saw that.

[ She shakes her head, drawing the other woman closer, almost as an anchor. ]

But sometimes actually falling in love is just exhausting.

Edited 2016-06-23 20:54 (UTC)

... Was there someone you fell in love with?

[here's an additional fun perk about having a fox-girl as a Servant. Since she's trying to be comforting, and Hermione is holding her close, she can just reach around and wrap her tail around Hermione, like an extra hug. It's fluffy and warm, too. (And, you know, glowing still.)]

[ There's a moment of surprise as she glances down - but of course she relaxes when she realises that it's a tail, and she softens. Tilting her head back up, she hesitates before she speaks. ]

I don't think so, not really. There were people I loved with everything that I had, but falling in love? I don't think I never got close enough with anyone that might have fancied me for it to ever happen.

[ And while she had loved Gilgamesh she had never been in love with him, no matter what he might have thought and said. ]

I see.

[Her ears droop slightly...]

But even if it's someone who doesn't fancy you, one-sided loves can still happen. You've never had one of those?

I've fancied people myself, of course, I mean - I can't not. It happens.

[ She pauses, fighting her smile. ]

There was this man, his - his name was Luke. He was... Really broken, I think, but I did my best to be there for him. I think I could have loved him.

[She notices that smile, and her ears stand up again.]

Ohhh? Well, don't leave me in suspense! What was he like?

He was an idiot, of course.

[ She huffs a noise. ]

But he was thoughtful, too, even if he didn't think that he was, and he was stronger then he ever gave himself credit for. We ended up matching, too - [ Hermione touches her scar ] - and... I don't think the world had been kind to him, so I tried to make up for it as much as I could.

... Someone else the world had not been kind to...

Is it just my imagination, or do you seem to have a way of attracting that kind of person, Master? Myself aside, this boy, and Diarmuid...

Well, it - not on purpose.

[ Hermione hadn't really noticed it, if she's being honest. She had just wanted to help people, and she had loved those people. She didn't think she had a pattern. ]

I don't know. Maybe? I don't know why...

... Aaahh, you really are similar...

[She mutters that to herself, before returning to the matter at hand.]

Do you really not know? I think it's fairly obvious if you simply look objectively.

[ Hermione hears, but doesn't question - instead she focuses on her partner. ]

I just want to help people. I suppose people appreciated that?

[She just gives a long-suffering sigh.]

Master. Remind me once more how you feel about being called "Master" instead of by your name?

[ She's tired and a little worn down, she's allowed to be oblivious! ]

Well, it's not right. I don't like the idea of having control over you, you know that. I want to help you, not own you.

And what do you think of me as a person?

[She's going somewhere with this, I promise.]

Well, I think you're lovely, of course. Very brave, and smart, and you're obviously - I mean, you're kind, since you came all this way to make me feel better despite being upset yourself.

[... yeah she might not have thought that part through, whoops. OKAY, CASTER, CALM DOWN, DON'T FOCUS ON ALL OF THAT PRAISE oh god help.]

Y- Yes, absolutely correct! Tamamo is the loveliest and smartest and best wife in history!

But, what I'm getting at is... You have a lovely girl all but throwing herself at you, and you have three miracles of absolute obedience etched into your skin. Yet, using any of them at all, for any purpose, nefarious or just, doesn't seem to have even crossed your mind. Even though three Command Seals might be enough power for me to send you back to that world, you've never even considered it, even enough to question if it's possible.

Though you praise me for coming to help you despite my own dreams, I have had a thousand years to reflect on that day. But you saw a man who the world had not been kind to, and you wished to make up for it. You only want to help people. Your kindness is what draws us.

... To those of us who have not been blessed with fortune, to find a person like that... It is a rare thing, you know? Those of us whose fate is to be met with betrayal time and time again... To find a person who we can be certain would not betray us is a miracle in itself. Those who have not been met with kindness feel that which you offer so freely, so flock to you... It is a kind of charisma gained through a good heart.

[ At first, of course, Hermione wants to protest the whole 'wife' business, but then Tamamo keeps going and she feels... Overwhelmed, but not in a terrible way. She feels as though she has to say something, but the words just don't come - they don't settle in her mind and for the first time in a very long time she's genuinely speechless, from her mouth all the way up to her brain.

She had never seen herself that way, of course. Her friendship with Diarmuid had been built upon affection and a shared understanding that came from him being a witness of her failures, of caring about each other and having that become a literal connection between them, but she had never felt as though she was better than him. She had never even dreamed about using his Command Spells for anything but helping if he needed it, and the idea of using the ones she had for Tamamo felt wrong and unnatural, somehow.

Hermione just can't imagine abusing that kind of power.

Vaguely, she remembers a time where Gilgamesh had offered the power of a Spell and she had just asked him to smile. One, pure, honest smile, just for her, and it had felt like the greatest gift in the world.

A little overcome, she moves and presses closer to Tamamo, shifting herself and pressing her face into the other woman's neck. For a moment it looks as though she's fine, but she can't really fight the tears that tickle at the corner of her eyes and trickle down, mostly because the sheer emotion and belief tied up with all the wonderful things... It just feels like too much, like a person that can't possibly be her. She's not that good, she knows it, and if Tamamo was aware of all the things she'd done and all the choices she'd made...

All she can do is breathe out. ]

Thank you - I... Thank you. That's - it's nice of you to say.

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tfw you post a tag, then click back LIKE DAYS LATER AND REALIZE IT NEVER SENT

HAPPENS ALL THE TIME

cries

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1/2

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