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[He nods.] I'll let him know.

[But he smiles at what she says. It means he's been leaving good impressions with people and Hermione had to be the best one, in his perfectly biased opinion. It gave him a bit more guilt to be throwing this at her, but perhaps, if she had some sort of warning, she could help Justice when he would need it. When Anders wouldn't be able to.] Yes, he can be.

He's a very old and very dear friend of mine, he's very important to me. [His expression darkens and his gaze shifts away from her. But then his eyes close and he sighs as he looks back up to her. She trusted him enough to share the darker things in her past, it wouldn't be fair not to do the same. And if she hated him after, at least he wouldn't be able to begrudge her.]

Justice and I, we...joined forces to work towards helping the mages of Thedas. They're little more than slaves and it's a great injustice that he couldn't abide by. I was always angry about it, but lacked the...drive to do anything. He gave me motivation and I gave him the ability to make those changes. We tried for so many years to make the change happen at the root of the problem, we sent letters and wrote missives and manifestos and asked to speak to the leaders who could actually do something to help and all please were ignored or brushed off or laughed down. It became too much.

I was already angry, it affected him, but with each failed attempt at a peaceful and compromising solution, his anger grew even beyond my own; it changed him into something he always feared becoming. And...together we did something unforgivable. It saw the change we wanted, but so many innocents were hurt or killed in the process.

I haven't told him, but he can feel the change in me, he knows I'm hiding something, that something's wrong. I know he'll find out one way or another, I owe it to him to be the one to tell him since it's my fault any of it happens. But I have no idea where to start or what to say.

[He pauses to let give her a moment to process before continuing.]

I thought someone not from Thedas might have a better idea since you're apart from the actual events we caused and I couldn't think of anyone I trusted more.

[ Hermione listens attentively because it's what she does; people come to her with problems, seeking her help, and she gives it as best she can. It might not be something she's particularly familiar with - she only just knows Justice, after all, and while she's closer to Anders she's not entirely aware of his situation and history - but she can do the best she can. That's what she cares about, and who she cares about; these people here that have become something like family to her. ]

I knew that the two of you knew each other. I never knew how, though - I suppose I assumed that people brought here from Thedas were all entangled somehow.

[ There's no stopping her from quietening and listening, though, and she nods as Anders speaks. She can't judge him, she thinks, when she's done her fair share of awful things - things that won't slip from her memory any time soon - but it does make her stomach twist. There are regrets that both of them share, and she recognises that. It's part of their lives, now, and she wishes there was something that she could do to soothe him, but she doesn't think it's his place.

Breathing out, she leans back, settling herself a little as she tries to untangle her thoughts. ]

I don't think it's fair to either of you to try and lie to him, or let him find out from someone else. He trusts you enough to have shared this much with you, and he sees far more than a normal person might be able to. He's going to figure out that something is wrong and you're going to have to deal with the fallout of that whether you like it or not, Anders. At least if you're the one to tell him you can try and manage it better rather than being unsure what, exactly, he's been told about the situation.

[ Pursing her lips, she shakes her head. ]

It's not something that you can start by jumping in to, I suppose. I've had to explain some terrible things in my time and... It was awful, but you can't avoid it. Not when it's someone else's life, and someone else's heart that's on the line. You need to be the one that's honest and explain to him that you recognise your failings but you're trying to make them better - because I believe you are, Anders. You really are.

[ Reaching out, she moves a little closer, seeking his hand. ]

If you're feeling guilty, start with an apology. If you think you owe him an explanation first then begin where he last remembers. Just don't let your worries back you into a corner because then both of you are going to get hurt.

[He bit back the ire that rose up in him as she told him he couldn't avoid it, just as Riona and Wolfe had, he didn't take hearing things he already knew thrown back at him as though he didn't.
But it was Hermione and he couldn't imagine how he'd ever be truly angry with her. Even now, it was only irritation and he stopped himself from snapping out with it.

He'd come to her, after all.

But she continues before he can at least tell her that wasn't exceptionally helpful and he waits for her to finish. When she does, he's quiet in response.]

I understand. I suppose there is no other way to tell someone their worst fear will be realized and make it gentle. Complete honesty is the only thing I have.

I...Maybe I should give him the choice to hear it? Let him know just enough of the circumstances to know what kind of truth it is and then let him decide if he wants to hear all of it or not. Do you think that might help?

[ It's not something he wants to hear and Hermione recognises that - perhaps he came to her because she thought he'd give him an out or allow him to get away with not expressing it, but at the same time she wonders if he came because he wanted to hear the truth one last time. If everyone around him was saying the same thing then, surely, he knows the path he ought to take? She can already imagine the things that Wolfe might have said in response to the same question.

Breathing out, Hermione squeezes, wrapping her fingers around his and leaving it there. It's an anchor between them for now, giving him as much as she can without pushing too hard. This is what it means to be with family, after all. ]

It's the best thing to have, too, and I think it will mean more to him coming from you. [ She doesn't know everything, but she recognises Justice's fondness. ] Speak to him, you're right. Give him the option of knowing what could happen, what you wish to say, and let him decide. It's the kindest thing for the both of you and it will help you make the situation easier for both your hearts.

[ Then softer, quieter - ]

I don't want to see you hurting, Anders.

[He nods to her words, holding them close in his mind like a lifeline. The conversation wouldn't be easy no matter what, the best he could do was hope for the best of a horrible situation.

But what she says last...it has his eyes darting away and pain in his expression even as a smile still twists the corners of his lips.]

Thank you for saying that. You're a wonderful woman, Hermione. I did not expect to find someone who felt like home among far-flung strangers, but you are too me.

I hope I might come to deserve your kindness, in time. [But right now, he didn't. More than likely, he never would. Life after life saved or bettered, and it would never come close to the penance Hawke had hoped Anders would find for himself on that day Kirkwall burned. No number was high enough to clear the blood from his hands and every wonderful person who foolishly saw something worth coming close for was doomed to get that blood smeared on them as well. He would never deserve any of them so long as he would live...but he would keep trying.]

[ Hermione doesn't really know if she's said the right thing, but... She thinks about being in that position herself, not knowing things and learning them later, and she thinks... She'd want to know, as soon as she could.

She doesn't want to hurt Anders, of course, but sometimes it's like ripping off a bandage. It needs to be done, as quickly and painlessly as possible, and sometimes she has to give the advice she knows is going to sting. She learned that the hard way too. ]

Anders, you - [ She shakes her head, shifting a little before she wraps her arms around him, letting herself hold him close. Hermione knows what it's like to adopt family - she had formally adopted Nico and John, and she misses them with a deep, desperate ache in her chest - and she knows that Anders is filling a part of her heart that she had thought had been abandoned in the Drabwurld.

They share the same sentiment, she thinks, and she can't help the way she grips at his clothes, gently, just holding on. ]

It doesn't matter how far away you go. You're always going to be family to me.

[Her arms wrap around him and he can't bare to hesitate in returning her hug. She clings to him and he clings to her, starved for the affection she offers. He shouldn't be asking it of her...but then, she is offering.

How long had it been since he'd had anyone close to family? Amell, Jowan, Karl. All of them gone and then replaced by the Wardens. The Wardens were taken from him and he found Hawke. Varric. Isabella, even Merrill. Now there were new people filling those holes. Hermione being the most dear among them.]

Thank you.

[ It's been harder, moving forward and watching people move away from her, and letting go of Anders when he and Wolfe had left the fleet had been incredibly difficult. Hermione recognises what it means to have a family, how it feels - she'd had John and Nico for long enough - but it doesn't make the hurt easier to survive, in the end.

Moments like this, though? Her arms slipping around him and holding on, the touch of his hand against her back, the squeeze of their hug as they cling to each other... These memories help, and Hermione makes a soft, happy little hum against his chest as she tilts her head to speak. ]

Any time, Anders. I'll always be here.

[She shouldn't be making that promise in this place, not with how easily someone could be taken away; and she likely knew it better than any. But he knew she meant 'as much as she could,' and that was more than enough.]

Your kindness and support are more than I have any right to ask for. Thank you, love.

[He pulled away and briefly smoothed her hair.]

I should let you go back to your own plans now that I've taken enough of your time.

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