There were more years where we did come close to dying than years we didn't, honestly. Being prepared for fighting, for protecting people, that was easy. The rest of it? I don't know.

[ She knows what people think when she tells them bits and pieces about their lives; about how she almost died in a bathroom at twelve, about how she almost died from an ideal of blood purity at thirteen, how every year since she risked her life for love and friendship. It's never mattered how scared she was; she had a reason. She's just a bit lost, now. ]

If I promise to get at least six hours a night will that count?